8 love bomb signs to know and avoid in relationships

HHave you ever felt like things were too good to be true with the person you’re dating? At first, maybe they showered you with praise, attention, and just generally made you feel as special as you are. But as soon as he was comfortable settling into what seemed like his new normal, his partner flipped the script. You, my friend, may be the unfortunate subject of a love bomb situation.

A love bomb refers to the form of emotional manipulation in which a person, often a narcissist, “bombs” you with an exaggerated amount of affection, flattery, gifts, and praise early in the relationship in order to win. over your attention for the purpose of being able to control you. “People with narcissistic personality disorder often have such a low sense of self-confidence that they derive their self-esteem from external validation,” says therapist Mallory Grimste, LCSW. “Because they feel so out of control, they try to control others to feel better about themselves.”

A love bomb refers to when a narcissistic person “bombs” you with an exaggerated amount of affection, flattery, gifts, and praise early in the relationship in order to gain your attention in order to control you. .

But it’s hard to notice the early signs of love bombing, as it usually occurs during the part of a narcissistic person’s abuse cycle when things are going well, says Grimste. (Remember, narcissistic people tend to be charming for a period of time.)

Here, experts outline the love bomb signs to look for in any relationship. Because you definitely don’t want your heart to get mixed up in one of these highly manipulative situations.

8 Signs Your Relationship Is Really Just A Chain Of Love Bombs

1. Your partner makes you believe you could do “better.”

It’s normal for your partner to want what’s best for you, but that doesn’t mean criticizing everything in your life in the name of “helping” you. According to licensed psychotherapist Michele Paiva, a love bomber expresses what he loves about you by putting you on a high pedestal, but when he wants more of your attention, he will knock people or things in your life down to make you believe. It deserves more.

Everything is in the form of a compliment to you. For example, they will tell you that your tennis shoes are all wrong and they will teach you how to buy them”, says Paiva. “Their romance of hers is based on becoming the hero of every page of their fairy tale that they’re trying to create.”

2. They say what you want to hear

A love bomber does everything in his power to get you on his side, including telling you exactly what you want to hear, even if it means twisting the truth. This form of manipulation points reflects the love bomber’s willingness to do anything to control the situation as a way of ensuring that he is receiving affection and attention.

3. Receives expensive gifts and knows how much they cost

Of course, giving gifts is not inherently bad. But instead of indulging yourself just because, a love bomber will make you feel indebted. Love bombers view gift-giving as an exchange, meaning they give to receive, says Grimste. “By telling their SOs how much they spend on them, they’re quantifying their investment and the value of the person,” she says.

4. Compliments are not in short supply

Compliments are great, but when a love bomber doles them out, they come at a price. “Quid pro quo is the mantra of the manipulator. They know that if they continually compliment you, sooner or later you’ll feel compelled to return the compliment, even if you don’t feel like it,” says Paiva.

Also, endless praise puts you at risk of being swayed by the praise itself. “You start molding yourself into what they want and need,” says Paiva, noting that developing this longing for worship gives the love bomber control that can lead to you cutting yourself off from other people in your life.

5. PDAs? too much in fact

In addition to the constant compliments, a love bomber will likely shower you with physical and digital affection. Think: Touching yourself and using warm body language in front of your loved ones and posting romance-leaning posts on Instagram. “They are showing everyone concrete evidence that you are ‘interested’ in them. This form of love bombing is a set up to make you look like an idiot once you try to walk away after being publicly sugar coated,” says Paiva.

6. Your partner can make you believe that you did something wrong (when you haven’t)

Ah, gaslight. Narcissistic love bombers use this tactic to make you feel guilty or confused. “They will make you believe that you are responsible for their bad boundaries or behaviors,” says Grimste. intolerable. By making this discomfort your fault, it is your responsibility to fix it, she adds.

7. You are expected to provide the affection they want

They expect to always sit by your side, touch you and see you whenever they want. And the moment he doesn’t respond to a text or mentions that he’s too tired to hang out on any given night, “they’re not just going to get mad, they’re going to take things to the extreme,” says Grimste. “[They may] threatening to end the relationship, telling you they don’t value the relationship, or, in extreme situations, threatening to harm you, your loved ones, or even themselves.”

8. That feeling of walking on eggshells is common.

This is another sign that you are dealing with a top notch narcissistic love bomber. Perhaps he tried to set personal boundaries, and his SO reacted emotionally, leaving him with light steps to move forward. “When the victim stops showing affection to the OS of hers who is love bombing, the victim is either reprimanded or has to deal with the drama in some way,” says Paiva. “They will walk on eggshells because anything else will be ‘punishable.'”

Being aware of these signs of love bombing can help you get out of the relationship sooner rather than later. Because if it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, seek help from the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-899-7323 or thehotline.org.

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